There is a little ball of anxiety that lives in me. It wanders around in my head sometimes and then rests. It has both eyes open and stares into the void. This is a normal day. The anxiety may appear a few times during the day to let me know it’s there and then it retreats into the shadowy recesses of my mind.
Today, the anxiety got bigger and more demanding. It wouldn’t stop running through hypothetical situations in my head, telling me what could happen. This creature is normally tame because I keep it on a tight leash. The leash broke and I ended up chasing it around my head like a frustrated owner trying to catch a mischievous dog. It dragged up past memories like sticks from the mud, demanding I play fetch with it for some reason. I thought I might have an anxiety attack!
I don’t want to play with these memories! What gives?!
Then I realised something. These were just sticks. This is a game. These sticks can’t hurt me. My anxiety pet just wants to play with me. It’s just as much a part of me as any other emotion.
If we don’t interact with the supposedly more negative emotions that we feel, we are ignoring part of what makes us human.
Anxiety taught me some valuable lessons today. It taught me that it can be a force for good. It can encourage me to analyse past memories and draw inspiration from them. Anxiety can encourage us to be present and plan for the future. Like any other emotion, anxiety also needs our care and attention sometimes, like a loving pet.
So I’ve decided to play fetch with my anxiety. It’s important to give it something fun to do once in a while!
Written by Miss Wren